Psychopathy researchers have found that psychopaths do not recognize or acknowledge they have a character disorder. In short, the psychopath does not believe he or she is a psychopath. They do not see this disorder in themselves. I saw this in my personal experience with my mother and sister who surpass the definition for clinical psychopaths. When they learned of my book, Born to Destroy, my sister Dee left a message on my answering machine saying, "You are the psychopath!" Though I wrote under a pseudonym, my book is based on fact and is entirely true. The psychopath has an uncanny way of turning around facts, making you guilty for doing to them what they have done to you!
Please take a moment and stop by my newly designed website, www.winisbooks.com, for more information. Also, Born to Destroy is available for sale on my website, where it can also be purchased in Kindle or Nook versions.
For more information and the lowest price for Winifred Rule's Born to Destroy, see www.winisbooks.com. Order through the PayPal link only. Price includes shipping and taxes.
Ah yes, how well I know what you are talking about. My father was a psychopath, extremely cruel to me. My stepmother is at least a narcissist if not a full blown psychopath, which I do suspect. Then there is my real biological mother, who did not raise me but I unfortunately met later and tried to connect with and yes, she is definitely a psychopath. All of them abused me and tried to kill me multiple times. Or maybe better said, wanted me to know they could kill me.
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, I'm 63 now, a female, have lived my life trying to educate other abuse victims, in the bushes and byways so to speak. Has been an interesting journey.
To me, people want to know the truth about what happened. The big question is why? Well, that's easy, they are predators. They are not like you. They may look like you, mimick you but everything on this planet has a predator and that includes humans.
What frustrates me to no end is how we protect our predators and how we don't protect our own and how we turn a blind eye and teach them fairy tales instead. Look close at fairy tales however, the writers are trying to tell you about our predators.
I am aware of nature vs. nurture and am more on the side of it being nature. I do thin that nurture has a great deal to do with it or the lack of but I think psychopaths are largely born. We want to give them an excuse, as in it was because they were abused but I know far too many abuse victims now who are not abusers themselves. It might make them worse and sure there are exceptions but our predators for the most part, in my belief, are born that way.
If we say we love, then we really need to do the action that backs up the words and teach our children and anyone we say we love or care about that these predators exist and they are not just here and there. Dr. Robert Hare is so skillful in pointing that one out.
So yes, I very much understand where you are coming from and the female psychopath is a very different and unique bird in some ways. The charm and cunning is more prolific, along with the helplessness at times and the notion that, it couldn't be a woman or a mother. I have to laugh. I have been the victim of and have known sooo many in my lifetime to tell you for sure, they are all around you.
It's time to wake up as a species, it really is. I applaud you for writing this. I was just told about you and your work so will be reading as soon as I can get it. But know enough by seeing what I see here to understand - where you are coming from and why you are doing this. Thank you!
Thank you for your very detailed and thoughtful comment. You understand from your experience and have turned a negative into a positive where you are helping so many now. That is what I have been doing as well. It is therapeutic for us survivors and a real benefit to those impacted but unsure why or how.
ReplyDeleteThere is no doubt that the psychopath is a predator and is born that way. My book, Born to Destroy, is the culmination of a 13 year journey to understand and capture the female predator on paper. This work earned me entry into the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy and I have been honored that my work has received favorable reviews from major psychopathy researchers. They realize it is on target and also of much help for their understanding and for victims.
Please feel free to communicate other thoughts you might have regarding Born to Destroy or any of my blog posts.
I will Winfred. It's important to be "honored" by people that matter in this world in order to get the information out there. I was not so lucky. No one wanted to hear from someone like me. I didn't have a degree, was too busy living life, raising a child on my own and trying to help so many abuse victims who had no support from anyone whatsoever, all at the same time so I SO glad that someone is listening to YOU! I have pounded on doors like crazy and been turned away, so that's why I stuck to doing what I do with one person at a time.
ReplyDeleteI decided to stop trying to reach out on a large scale because I know the ripple in the pond effect. We do what we can do, those of us who can do nothing else but that.
My journey about psychopathic predators has been a 63 yr. old span. I wanted to know - the nature of - the snake that bit me. Was important to me because I knew, it wasn't just about me, it was about many others.
Dr.Scott Peck, in "People of the Lie" captures things on paper and puts it - on the wall, so you can see it before it changes. As we both know, as Charlene in his books illustrates, the predator can change, mimick and adapt oh so quickly to be what you need, what you tell them to be and what is needed to trap you. This is what we need to teach and teach at a young age.
Sure we can teach our young how to play sports, how to use a cell phone, how to look nice, how to be popular but do we teach them, really teach them how not to be prey for a predator?
I know the answer. NO. We don't.
Why?
I will be honored to read your book and get back to you and so glad you are in the circles that seem to matter. Hopefully, your information can get out into the world more prolifically and reach people where they live. YOU matter and thank you so much for doing what you do.
Just discussing this here on-line gets your message out and before whatever audience may see it! Social media, blog postings can make our voices heard. Your voice ... your experiences matter.
DeleteYou are absolutely right that caregivers generally do not prepare children to spot and avoid a predator. The best we do is give warnings not to speak to strangers, to stay away from people in cars asking for directions or offering a ride. It doesn't go further so as to reach the serious hidden charmers and manipulators that we know exist in the world. We can forewarn, but it is difficult to forearm against their predations. That said, children should be instructed to be on guard against someone who they feel may be trying to use them for their own advantage. Maybe this would be a good blog post!
Also, important to note that some psychopaths or people "without a conscience" sometimes become that way because of an accident or blow to the frontal lobe. It can also happen because of drugs/chemicals which affect the areas of the brain that control empathy. Meth is a huge one in that arena. Unfortunately, one time use of meth, can change the brain chemistry and do so permanently, meaning one who did have empathy before that, will no longer have empathy after using meth, even with one dose. I have seen that happen and it's very tragic......
ReplyDeleteOne of the real reasons that young kids do drugs is because our society hides and protects psychopaths who abuse their own as in, it being their father and/or their mother and then the rest of the family do the "gaslighting" thing and make whatever child that is brave enough to speak of, or who is actually the one with the most empathy, then the target and the bad kid.
It's a gang mentality then. The whole family actually hides the perp and takes up for them, does their bidding and are cowards or perps themselves, making it their aim in life to pelt the one in the family who sees, knows, stands up for what's right - the target.
I call them - the voodoo child. The group, which has no conscience, attacks the one who does because they will feel no pain but will deflect it onto the one that has a conscience.
Ye?
In Antonio Damasio's book The Descartes Error, he talks about the case of Phineas Gage, a railroad worker whose brain's frontal lobe was severely damaged by an iron rod that went through his skull while he was using an explosive to excavate a railroad path. As a result, his ability to make moral, ethical choices was severely compromised. But that did not make him into a psychopath, any more than drug use would cause this in someone else. To be a psychopath, the key characteristic is callous unemotionality coupled with charming and manipulative tactics. Gage didn't show that.
DeleteI agree that there may be situations where a family may hide or cover for a "perp," and deflect onto family members that understand what is happening. It is more likely, however, that the family may unwittingly cover for the "perp" because they just refuse to believe he or she could be so bad or do such wrong. This would especially be the case if the "perp" were a psychopath since he or she would then be actively charming and manipulating family members to take his or her side. Woe to anyone in the family that might see through the disguise. The rest of the family would likely ridicule the observant one.